I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
