i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
