you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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