I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Success! We fucked roommates!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
