I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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