Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
His nipple licking is glorious
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