Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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