That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
