brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
