babies were throwing up all over the place
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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