so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
