Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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