..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
