I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
