she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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