I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
