This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
