You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize