I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
