i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
