Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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