I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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