I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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