Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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