Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
