if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
