girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
