love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
