Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
