Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
