i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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