god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize