omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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