dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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