This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my being single is dangerous.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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