I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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