Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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