Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
