Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
