im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
