why didn't you poke me back
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
