I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
