there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize