We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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