And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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