No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
