We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
