woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
