dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize