I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize