gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Where is the hickey?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
