That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
