How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
