I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
